Respect..

"Respect those who are older than you, those who have higher status than you.." F****** bullshit. I don't respect anyone who doesn't deserve my respect. That goes for everyone! And I mean everyone! I wish everyone would just stop being scared of old traditions..

I was so tired, but now everything seems alright..

I now feel like I can go to the states without looking back and regretting a thing. I am so ready to go. I haven't said goodbye to everyone, but you know.. I will be back in 10 months! I know it sounds like a long time, and it also seemed like a long time in the beginning. I just realised that.. those past couple of years I've lived as if every day was the same old routine. I need to step out of the shadow, and try something new. Something exciting. Something challenging. I feel like I'm trapped in a circle, but it needs to break now. I am so thankful for getting this opportunity. Thanks for believing in me. I believe this will change my life. Hopefully a good change.

So this is so not in the same category, and it's very personal. But I'd like to share it with you, whoever you are. There's one thing I really hate about myself, but I can't help it, it's just who I am. You know the saying

"Before you let go, Remember why you held on, for so long.."

.
When a person is/or have been special to me, I am really bad at letting go. That's not a thing to hate, I know. But I really fight for it, until the person gives up and stays by my side. That's the thing I hate, I am being selfish. I don't care if the person ends up being hurt, I just want them to stay beside me. When a person enter my life, and they choose to walk beside me, I can't understand why they would leave me behind. And that's what I fight for. If there is a strong bond between two, and it disappears, it should not make them part. Relationships/friendships should keep on growing, cause no matter what - There was SOMETHING, and that SOMETHING should NOT be thrown away just because some thing that happened. That's how I think, and seriously, I should stop that. I have hurt a lot of people by being selfish, and I am regretful of that. But something inside me says "if you let go now, you will never know if something really good would have happened.". In that case, probability is that the opposite would happen. Oh I'm babbling, it's probably not understandable, but really.. I wish I wouldn't be like that. When people wants to leave me, they should just leave. Because holding on to something that is not wanted from both sides, will just ruin everything.

I am in love with this guy. It's complicated, but right now.. No one else feels right for me. I'm bad at straight out answers, I'm scared that I will hurt someone. Don't fall for me. It will only cause you pain.

He likes me.
He cherishes me.
He wants me.
He touches me.
He follows me.
He cares for me.
He is there for me.
He is sacrificing for me.
He lives for me.
He loves me.

..But that is not enough, because he is not you.

Was today just a taste of what is going to happen?

Not in the mood, but I better get used to it. The blogging-part I mean.
Went out with my parents to buy me a suitcase and a new handbag (I freaking love the handbag, btw) and yes.. I'm already packing some of my stuff to take with me to the states. My oh my, I'm so exciiiiited!
Also bought something for my mighty sheep, and you better like it, or I'll buy you a pig next time. MDRx2 .. adore you! ^^

Tomorrow my bestfriend is going to Belgium. Sadly I couldn't come with her, so that means I'll be gone when she comes back, and I had to say goodbye to her today. I was not sad or anything at first, but when the last 10 min. sneaked up on us, I was crying like a baby, and believe me.. I NEVER cry unless it's something really meaningful. I used to call her my cousin, my friend. Deep inside I know that she's my best friend, and I can't live without her. K, this is for you. Everything we've been through, makes us stronger than others. With my eyes filled with tears, I am sincerely writing this. I love you. Don't know what I should do without you. I don't have to write pages about it. Just look at you're bracelet, and you will know. Take care of yourself when I'm not here, and keep fighting! You're stronger than you think. I believe in you. I will be here for you, always. My stay in the states will not only make me stronger, but our friendship will also grow. It already has. I will miss you like hell, but we will always be thu ha, ha thu, aight?
Hold your head up high, my bestfriend.

9 days till I'm leaving.. What about when there's only 1 day left?

(about half an hour later I start to cry again..)
Karina.. You always had my back. You were always there. I am so thankful for that.. Urg.. This is harder than I thought.. Hope you're going to handle it better, cause I'm such a crybaby right now. Must stop this >.<...

One lazy day.. again..

I finished the serie "Vampire Diaries" with my cousin K, and seriously, we were watching it the hardcore way, so it didn't really surprise me that we were all dizzy and stuff. It was totally worth it though - except now I am feeling the hunger... and I really can't wait to.. season 2! :( anyways.. after spending 8 hours watching VD episodes I was heading home. While sitting in the bus with headphones on I saw this guy running outside. I had seen him before, and I could see that he was struggling.. and not with the running-part. Suddenly I felt really bad even though I didn't know him personally. When you see someone different, do you judge them? Some people do. And those should not have the right to judge without knowing.

Bye for now..
Oh and btw. I don't like you. You remind me of a heartless vampire. Manipulating - and ruining everything. When time comes, everyone will be gone - and you will end up lonely and even more pathetic.

8 days away from home..

Hello blog-reader! I just got home some hours ago, so I guess I should write something about my super chillaxing week. (While listening to Claude - Gataway > Pretty Catchy song!)

I started off by going to an interview in Copenhagen. (totally necessary when obtaining a visa.. urg -.-!) So I sat in the train for 3 hours while reading the Passport Handbook-thing I got from YFU. Interesting, but pretty tiring. I guess waking up at 5:45 AM with only 1 hour of sleep was hard on me, but totally worth it! I haven't got the opportunity to go to CPH alone before, so it was really nice. I met my unni PM for the first time, and we had a nice time together. Amazing how good our talks were - considering that it was our first time meeting each other. After hanging out with my awesome unni, I went to a reception at the ambassador's residence, and I really enjoyed trying that. It wasn't overdo'ed, but it sure was fancy. Waiters with tiny-food on silver plates. Guests with expensive clothes and accesories.. (eyes like a falcon! or not..) It was a nice experience, and I would have stayed there longer, but my feet were in pain, so I had to leave early.

Then I was off to Odense, to visit my sister and her family. I had a nice time there, and I'm going to miss them. I could write about all the stuff I did while in Odense, but I'm honesly too lazy. Perhaps I'll do that later.

Me and my nephew <<<<<

Oh.. actually I was out with my two sisters, my nephew and niece the day before i left, and I saw this place a person once showed me, and a strange feeling hit me. Indesribable, but definitely a feeling. Faded memories from that place suddenly were to be remembered.

Enough about my week.. This is my first time sewing, but I'd like to show you my amateur work though. It's a skirt I made just before the summer holiday (with help from a nice teacher at school), and I got the inspiration from Blair Waldorf's school-outfit from Gossip Girl. Who knows.. Maybe I will spend more time on practising my sewing, and upload some more. I have to buy a sewing machine first though..

Not the best quality, I know, but that's it for now. Take care!

Today I remembered the forgotten..

010710 – Today I remembered the forgotten..
Furnitures were moved around. While cleaning my room I saw the bag. The bag, which I had put in the back of the backest, until now. Old christmas, birthday and everything else-letters were in it. The last letter to be read was the one from my former best friend, B. All the memories were written down on a piece of paper. I finished reading it, and that was the moment I realised that during good and bad times, I used to be happy. But when the dose of bad times eats up the good times, it may leave you unhappy. Just like me. But trust me, friend. It will change.
Tomorrow morning at 05:45 I will be leaving this place, on a strongly needed vacation. Well.. After I’ve been in Copenhagen for an interview to receive a visa, meeting my unni pm, and a reception at the ambassador’s residence. Really looking forward to this week. Deuces!
Rihanna featuring Eminem – I love the way you lie. (Thanking my friend K, for showing me this song. It’s awesome)